Thursday, April 2, 2015

what if or what is

a post by the mom

A neighbor and I started looking out for the community cats in our neighborhood back in 2010. It all basically started with Junior and Bug. And then we caught a momma cat and discovered the Memorial Day kittens. Things settled down at that point and Carol (the lady on the other side of the neighborhood) was basically feeding 2 cats - Annie (mom to the kittens, best we can tell) and Blackie (not the father).

Allie showed up near my house in 2012, but I have no reason to believe she is related to the other two cats and Carol says she hasn't ever seen her up there.

Last fall we both started seeing a long haired white cat. I was heart broken - had we missed a kitten? But it has been so long, we should have seen this cat before now. Had someone found a kitten and then kicked the cat out of the house? There was no way to know. However, with the weather being SO brutally cold this winter, Carol and I agreed to wait until spring to trap this cat as surgery is hard and recovery in the cold is that much harder.

I would occasionally catch a glimpse of the cat running out of my garage - he certainly wasn't grooming himself very well. Carol was getting a better look at him and agreed he was pretty scruffy.

The end of last week, Carol sent me an email expressing concern about the cat and asking if I thought it would be time to try to trap him. Among other things, he was spraying and her neighbors weren't happy about it.

I took the trap over on Sunday and finally got a good look at him....it was bad. His ears were crusted and bloody. His fur was matted and filthy - and missing in spots. The worst though was his jaw - it appeared to have been broken at some point and healed to where he couldn't move it right and his tongue was hanging out. I told Carol that I would take him to the clinic but that my opinion was that he should be euthanized....he wasn't living, he was existing and more than likely suffering.

I went home that afternoon and the "what ifs" started playing in my head:
What if we had caught him sooner?
What if we missing him as a kitten?
What if 
What if
What if

I knew I had to stop and took a deep breath. Anyone working in welfare - people or animals - will tell you that getting hung up on the what ifs will weigh you down and make you lose your mind. I had to focus on "what is".
What is the current situation?
What is the possible outcomes?
What is the most humane thing I can do for this cat right now?

Tuesday morning we caught him and I took him to the clinic where the rescue gets their spay/neuter done as they are feral friendly. Rather than have a conversation in front of a waiting room full of people, I put a note on the intake sheet explaining....they took him back and said he would get an exam and they would call me.

Rest In Peace Sal
Fly Free over the Rainbow Bridge

~~~~~~~~~~
a post script: I wrote most this Tuesday before the vet called me that afternoon. They sedated him to get a better look. He had lost several teeth on the bottom (his jaw was fine) and the rest were pretty infected. He was one giant mat and his body weight was fairly low. They aged him out at approximately 7-9 years old....which means he was more than likely the father of the kittens. And as his body began to fail, he started coming around in order to find food. It doesn't make the story any less heartbreaking, but I can take some comfort in the fact that we most certainly saved him for a long miserable death.

21 comments:

  1. Thank you for your kindness to that poor cat.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx

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  2. Please don't do the "what ifs," even though it's human nature to do so. I wish Fate had been kinder him, but you gave him a merciful passing in his very difficult life. I hope his spirit is at peace and send you hugs. -Kim

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  3. There are too many 'what ifs' in the world. We can begin at our births and go on from there. If you want to concentrate on 'what ifs', then think about 'what if' you hadn't taken him to the veterinary hospital. What if he had been left, incapable of caring for himself, alone in the world? That is a very big 'what if' that you never have to worry about.

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    1. that is the big one....and the one I know I couldn't have lived with. as much as I hate that "playing god" feeling, I could never have left him out there in that condition....

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    2. I'm a little confused by the end of the story. did he get better or did he go over the bridge?

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    3. mom gave the vet permission to euthanize him

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  4. Thank you for doing the right thing.

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  5. 20+ years ago we moved out of an apartment that was draining us financially into another that was cheaper in a cheaper city in a bad part of town. I saw a young kitten and I wanted to 'save' it. My husband convinced me that she was owned by someone and to not worry about it. I saw her a few times but let myself believe she was being cared for. That winter it got brutal and she found herself under our car crying because she was so cold. I decided to take her in, and it was immediately obvious she was not owned... she smelled, she was thin and horribly matted. I did my best for her and by the time she made it into the vet (it took some time to get the money) she NEEDED to be there and the vet said she had felv and recommended putting her down.

    I still cry over what could have been..

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    1. yep....it never gets easier, but it also keeps us human

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  6. Sigh. We all wish we could save them all, but sometimes all we can do is our best. You definitely did that and he's more comfortable now than he would have been living in pain. Hugs. - Alana.

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  7. Most importantly, this guy did not have to suffer a lingering decline. So put aside the what-ifs - you did what was best for him overall.

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  8. You certainly did the best thing for that kitty. So often, I wonder what has happened t You did that guy a big favor by letting him go. Poor thing.

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  9. I have tears in my eyes. I am so sorry. You are such an Angel to all of the kitties, you did the best that you could do. You are right, the poor cat was probably experiencing pure torture every day (and pain) and you spared him that. ((((hugs)))) of comfort and much love to you and your friend.

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  10. We sure know how tough that is but we know you did right by him.

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  11. It sounds like you did the best you could for this guy and certainly saved him from prolonged suffering.... I always wish we could save them all too!

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  12. If we could save them all, we would. But you do the best you can based on circumstances. Thank you for caring enough to trap this guy and make sure he didn't suffer. RIP, Sal.

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  13. Poor Sal, he must have had a very tough life. It may not have been an easy thing to do, but you definitely did what was best for him at this point.

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  14. You did the best you could do for him. Poor guy ! Purrs

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  15. Though heartbreaking, you did the kindest thing for this poor soul who obviously was suffering greatly. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo

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  16. What if's are heartbreaking. Life can be heartbreaking.Thank you for being compassionate enough to help find the kindest path for him and not leaving him to a treacherous end.

    We still drop by from time to time to visit you :) We are still supportive of all you do for animals.

    the critters in the cottage xo

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