**a post from the mom
I've been fostering for several years now.
Some people think the hardest part is seeing kittens and momma cats go back to the rescue to get adopted.
Actually, the hardest part is when they don't survive.
Monroe passed away during the day on Tuesday.
I found him when I got home from work.
I found him when I got home from work.
While I will never know for sure what happened, it was most likely just failure to thrive. He seemed to get better along with the entire group after everyone was sick about 3 weeks ago (except Russell - that boy has the constitution of a brick wall), but he never seemed to get bigger or put on as much weight as everyone else since then. I was going to call Monday to get him in to the vet but didn't get the appointment made. Honestly, I don't think it would have made much difference.
Monroe and his momma
Of course, when something like this happens, you start playing the "what if?" game in your head. I have learned over time that I can't let myself do that. I would go nuts....or quit. Second guessing every decision I have made with him and this group doesn't change anything.
It doesn't change the fact that I was so certain 3 weeks ago that one of the girls wasn't going to survive the night. It doesn't change the fact that Monroe didn't make it. It doesn't really change how I raise these kittens or kittens in the future....despite everything, I did what I could. Sometimes it just isn't meant to be. That is hard to accept, but volunteering in rescue, especially with a group that primarily deals with stray cats and ferals, you have to learn to accept your limitations. These momma cats aren't pampered house pets that are getting the best care and food before they have kittens. Most are struggling just to survive. This time of year, stray moms can be on a second litter of kittens which further depletes their systems. And honestly, even if Marilyn had been getting the best care, there is no guarantee that Monroe would have survived.
So what do you do?? Give up....keep going....
I know the best tribute I can give to Monroe and any kitten that hasn't survived is to keep trying. There will be kittens that continue to need care, and I will continue to learn as I go along. I will succeed and I will fail. But I can't just give up. Someone once told me that if you stop caring about every loss, you need to find something else to do with your time. I truly believe that.
My heart may continue to be broken, but I won't give up. Safe journey Monroe. You were very loved.
I promise that I will continue to try.
(and no comments from the Star Wars fans out there....after Tuesday, Yoda can bite me - LOL)
Poor little baby. Purrs and hugs to you, and godspeed to Monroe. ♥ReplyDelete
Oh! I'm so sorry. That horrible and mysterious "failure to thrive". It *is* heartbreaking. At least he knew love and safety and warmth. And yes, the best tribute you can give Monroe is to help more kittens. Thank you for the hard work and for sacrificing all those bits of your heart.ReplyDelete
We're so sorry to hear of Monroe's passing. Such a sweet little boy. but we know... sometimes we just aren't meant for a long life. You did all you could, and his time here was much, much better than it would have been without you. Pawhugs.ReplyDelete
Oh so so sorry Monroe had to leave. He sure was a cutie. We sure send you and Monroe lots of purrs. You sure did try to help him and I hope you keep up all the great work that you do.You sure have saved lots of kitties.ReplyDelete
Heartbreak is part and parcel of owning animals, but so much more so in your case when you have such little, fragile ones in your hands so much of the time. We all know how much you care and that you do your best and more. Sometimes, nothing works. Run Free, little Monroe.ReplyDelete
A heartbreaking loss. I'm so sorry. You are amazing ... and your love works wonders on a daily basis - I hope you see that much. Monroe knew he had a kitty mom and a human mom who loved him dearly - and that's the greatest gift any mom has to give :)ReplyDelete
Our hearts go out to you. Thank you for providing that little boy a place safe enough for him to leave with love.ReplyDelete
RIP Monroe. Thank goodness that you knew love and warmth before you left us. God bless.ReplyDelete
Monroe couldn't have had any better care. If he had been with some other foster-guardian, the result would have been the same. Sometimes, they are too little inside to survive. Godspeed, Monroe.ReplyDelete
I am so sorry for the loss of this sweet boy.ReplyDelete
I am so sorry to hear about loss of sweet little Monroe..ReplyDelete
Thank you for helping precious fur babies. Hugs. xo
We are sorry to learn of Little Monroe passing and know you did your best to take care of him in his hour of need.ReplyDelete
I am sorry to hear this. But as others have said, he was safe and warm and loved and passed in comfort and peace. Sometimes that is the only gift you can give them, but it is a very important gift.ReplyDelete
I am SO sorry about Monroe. You are right - the best thing you can do to honor him and other kittens who have passed away is to keep trying.ReplyDelete
We're so sorry for little Monroe. We know you always do the best for each of them. Purrs and hugsReplyDelete
wee small dood....we iz buzzed sorree ta de point we wood like ta cry...N may bee we just will go due that heer ina few..ReplyDelete
Godspeed yur journee two heaven...ewe tried, mom tried, everee one tried & did ther veree veree veree...best...
pleez say hi two cotton & goose; two other wee kittenz palz that just arrived in heaven a bit bee for ewe......
de werk yur mom does iz awesum.......we due knot think de food servizz gurl could due what her doez......frank lee we think... few could....
high pawz two her ~~~
with loves frum uz all... two ewe monroe... and everee one az well~~~~~~ boomer, dai$y, tuna, dude and sauce ♥♥♥♥♥
I'm so sorry that you lost Monroe. He was a sweet kitten that was simply to good for this world. I understand what you mean about all of the "what ifs" swirling in your head. This isn't your fault in anyway. *hugs*ReplyDelete
-Purrs from your friends at www.PlayfulKitty.net
We are so sorry to hear this! God bless sweet, little Monroe! :(ReplyDelete
You gave him the gift of being loved - and that should never be underestimated! Thank you for ALL you do!
KZK and the girls
You were loved, Little Man, you were loved !ReplyDelete
We're so sorry to read about Monroe. Sending purrs.ReplyDelete
What a heartbreak. You do all you can...sometimes there's just no explanation. But we agree...you have to keep trying...and helping all the other Monroes out there.ReplyDelete
RIP, little Monroe.
I am so sorry for the loss of Monroe. You gave him love and care during his short life.ReplyDelete
When you consider the haphazard way these kittens came to be with all the risks and variables it's always a shock that so many of them actually do survive. That doesn't help when a tiny one, especially one you've been nursing along, doesn't make it, and usually we never know what happened and that makes it harder. But Monroe had a home and love for the short life he was given, and you made that possible.ReplyDelete
It sucks. It sucks that you can do everything right and have everything go wrong. It sucks that life ends too quickly..ReplyDelete
But it is awesome that his life ended in a place of love. he was warm, he was loved, he had food.. His life was short, but it had so much.
I'm so sorry about Monroe. Very heartbreaking. Sending hugs and purrs.ReplyDelete
I'm sorry. Monroe had a super duper home for the short time he was here, and you are to thank for that. Hugs.ReplyDelete