Sunday, November 18, 2012

Independence and Gratitude.....

The auction is up and running. furriends of the cb

THANK YOU to those who have contributed something to auction off. THANK YOU to those of you who are going to shop. THANK YOU to those who have contributed through the chip-in.

On that note, mom wanted to talk to all of you:

I have been thinking a lot about independence and gratitude. I hope you will bear with me.

I think woman of a certain age and background are raised to think for themselves and be independent. And I am a big supporter of that ideal. But I think part of raising independent women is that we learn, consciously or unconsciously, to think that we need to be able to do everything by ourselves. And that asking for help shouldn't be done. I am not talking about the flat-tire-on-the-side-of-the-road-and-I-need-a-towtruck help. I am talking about the crap-up-to-my-eyeballs-trying-to-survive help. Somehow asking for help became the same as being weak. And we can't somehow be independent and weak at the same time. So we learn to suck it up and get by no matter what. Until we break or someone forces us to accept help.

And then there is gratitude. As kids we are taught to be polite and say please and thank you. I think it becomes routine. Not insincere, but used to the point where you can say it for everything. But I think there are levels of gratitude. There is the "thank you" to the person who holds the door while you are juggling your morning coffee. Then there is the "thank you" for unexpected help.

And then there is this auction. I keep saying THANK YOU. Yet it seems inadequate for all the help you are giving....and for how I feel in response. I wish I had better words to express it. But I don't have those words, but I don'



  1. Oh Jeanne, that is so well put. I have a hard time asking for things too. But like I have said, all these people that are helping with the auction, including me, are so excited to be given a chance to help someone else. You certainly do your share of helping all those kittens and thus help people too because then someone else doesn't have to do it or it just doesn't get done. People just want to help the animals mainly which is a great thing. Take care. Great post.

  2. I so agree... I am one of those ladies who thinks I have to do it all, all the time, and now.... UGH!

  3. I find it almost impossible to ask for help too. So I can understand what you mean. But sometimes, asking becomes necessary and I'm glad you asked so your friends can help you help the Gemstone kittens. Thank you for all you do for the kitties. :)

  4. And you know what? It's good for the soul to be able to help others. Hard to say who's getting the better deal you, and I'm off to shop!

  5. That's such lovely post, Jeanne. We are grateful for YOU, and it is a beautiful thing when friends can help each other. :)

  6. Jeanne, I understand perfectly, because it was so very hard to ask for and accept the help for Derry's huge dental bill back in June 2010, when he had his 9 extractions. Every donation that came in, and then later through the auction, made me cry. I couldn't believe people would help a stranger, it was so amazing to me.

    And yes, I felt like a failure, and felt weak, for asking for help, but a few convinced me it was OKAY. My current debt load would be that much greater without having that assistance, and I'll forever be grateful.

    So yeah, I get it.

    Lots of hugs and Light...I get paid on the 30th, so please leave your Chipin button up for a while. If I don't bid (and win) something via the auction, I'll donate what I can after payday.


  7. That was really quite beautiful.
    Play bows,

  8. I learned at the ripe old age of 37 that asking for help is not showing signs of weakness but really a sign of great strength. Knowing when to admit that you need help and can't do it alone is a lesson often forced upon us but once we learn that people WANT to help and it is done with love and graciousness and not out of guilt or obligation the help can be accepted for the gift it is.

  9. It is a good reminder that when we ask for help, it is usually worth it. I recently had to ask for help in a situation I didn't want to, but at the end of the day the person was glad to help. Hope the auction is a huge success!

  10. Mommy agrees completely. And it's such an odd mental 'double standard' too -
    because we'd never, ever, think ill of our friends for asking for help. In fact, we'd be offended if they *didn't* tell us they were in need!

    So... why do we feel it's okay for us not to ask...!?!? It's because somewhere along the line wires got crossed between "independence" and "weak". *sigh*

    We're so very glad you wrote what you did. Thank YOU for your beautiful insights - we are 100% there with you.

  11. We understand..and we love the kitties and we love you too for all that you are. Katie has a piggy bank and it has her allowance in it. I will match her allowance for the gemstone babies. xoxox

  12. Years ago I had to swallow my pride and ask for help. It was tough but I did and I wouldnt have taken it back. Yay for you and the kitties!

    Mom Laure

  13. Asking for help is hard, but you do so much, it's okay to ask for help when you need it.


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